Oh look, it’s no aliens.
No aliens there.
And just over here, a distinct lack of aliens.
In any case there are three fairly good reasons why they probably still haven’t said hello yet
And they are as follows.
The first is technology.
Lots of scientists are searching the skies for messages from aliens in the form of radio
We've had radio waves for about a century.
Our species has been around for about 1.5 million years so that's about 0.005 % of how long
we’ve been on the planet or you know, this.
Yeah, that’s you and.... your pathetic life.
Radio is the best we've got at the moment, but do you really want to bet it's the best
mode of communication we'll always have forever?
What if, in say, a thousand years, just here, we discover another mode of communication?
Imagine you're an ape living in the forest and one day you decide there must be other,
smarter apes out there so you start trying to communicate with them.
What would you do?
Probably everything you know how to.
Shout a bit.
Much like my recent experiences with the Bulgarian immigration office.
And all that time, you're going to be missing the fact that there are smarter hairless apes
out there, billions of them, flying right over you in big metal birds, and transmitting
magic waves straight through your body without you ever knowing.
Because, frankly, the idea is just too far out for your little ape brain right now
So, we're about here, with technology we've had for this long, and we're expecting all
In reality, if they've probably been around for longer than we have, they might be here,
using technology we can’t even imagine right now.
The second problem is smarts and it's even harder to get around.
Every time we send out a Hi?
Into the cosmos it assumes aliens would even give a shit about talking to us in the first
We'd like to think they would.
I mean look at all of our fascinating culture.
Look at all of our noble accomplishments.
Look at the wonderful feats we're capable of. Look at all of the fantastic things we have to boast about.
The thing is, and I've covered this one before in a video about AI, how much of shit do we
give about species on our own planet less intelligent than us?
We're certainly not trying to teach them how to do calculus or play the accordion.
Because you're lovely, Charles Bonobo ape, congratulations on evolving this far, Mr.
Johnny Crow face, but you’re both going to suck as a wingman.
You don’t even have an alphabet or pornography yet.
No offense but evolve a bit then we’ll chat yeah?
Likewise, if you're some smart arse alien civilisation who has discovered antigravity
and hangover free alcohol, how much would you really have to say to primitive warring monkeys who
still haven't even cracked immortality?
How's war and social media and still using toilet paper working out for you?
Yeah, let's chat again when you’re not still total idiots, eh?
And that's also ignoring the problem that their brains might not even be wired remotely
If they have brains.
Their language – if they have a language – might be so difficult to speak – if
it's spoken – that we can't even reply – if they write to us in the first place.
Just look at the diversity of life on Earth.
I’ve got a GCSE in Spanish if that helps.
That's the second problem, intelligence, and it relies on us finding other species who
are at almost exactly the same point in development as us.
That is, slightly above flinging our own faeces, but still trying to blow each other up.
The final problem, my personal favourite, is extinction and this is kind of the one
One answer to: if the universe is so big, where be aliens though?
70 years ago or so we discovered nuclear weapons.
There are now around 15,000 warheads on the planet, capable of obliterating life a few
This has happened in 7 decades.
In the entire history of technology we went from a bit mouthy but most harmless to could
wipe themselves and everything else out in just under an hour . And that's just one technology
Do you wanna bet we're not going to find more?
Doesn't even have to be weaponry.
There might be something built into physics for example where species accidentally create
black holes or some other deadly event, or incurable superbugs, or that giant Yellowstone
tit thing going off, not to forget all the methane under the ocean, solar flares that
could roast our entire civilisations with only a few minutes warning, or just another
asteroid like the one that wiped out the dinosaurs or just anything along those lines.
If other species are out there, they’re probably facing, or have faced, the same threats.
It might be that only 1% of civilisations get through that window and evolve into peace-loving-tech-monkeys
at the other end.
Or it might be 0% explaining why no one's out there returning our calls.
So, that's the happy haps.
Where be aliens?
Probably dead/too evolved/too far away/busy playing civ 6.
Steam handle exurb1a by the way.
Because to even get a reply back we might need to be at exactly the right point in technological
development, sending messages that actually appear smart enough, to civilisations who
haven't already fucking wiped themselves out.
If it makes you feel any better, keep in mind we’re the smartest, most intellectual, sophisticated,
and sentient, creatures we’ve found in the entire universe so far.
Then again you also began life as an orgasm