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I think I was about 21
when I lost
my mind
I was living in this house with my best friend and this couple
and the girl was cool but her boyfriend often had
red eyes
and the house always smelled really spicy when he came over
So, we'll call him
So, one night Sir Drugsalot said:
"Hey, I've got these
brownies, so let's try them, yeah?"
"Who made them and what's the dosage?"
I should've said, but didn't
And instead I said
So we ate these things and they tasted strong
Very strong indeed.
I ate two because I had a medical condition back then called
"being a fucking idiot".
We planned an evening of Mario Kart and cake
And watching the Matrix and deciding we were living in a simulation, etc.
But, around an hour in, Sir Drugsalord said he felt a bit unusual and was going to bed
"Sir Drugsalot"-I said-"You can't go to bed, you gave us these, silly"
And he said -"Yeah, but I didn't make them"
"What?"- I said
"Yeah, someone gave them to me, at a party... Birmingham"
we all yelled.
"So, you don't know how strong these are?
These drugs from...
BIRMINGHAM?" *chaos at the door*
"It's fine" -he said.
And I guess that was when hell began
because it started to fell a bit like, hmm...
ahh, you know that feeling when you're going up in a lift
but the lift is full of blue fire
and you're convinced no one ever loved you
and you can't remember hoW TO FUCKING BREATHE?!
Yeah, so...
Yeah, is like that, really.
Everyone else at this point went to bed, but I'm an insomniac
at least when I'm on
drug fueled existential journeys into the unconscious
anyways, so
I laid down on the sofa
for a bit.
I got the TV on finally and it was halfway through Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and I realized that I no longer had the dexterity to even change the channel
so I made the best of it, and just leant back
into whatever
was going to happen.
To the sound of hysterical screaming and revving chainsaws
I attempted to recede into myself
to that spot at the heart of the psyche
where the buddhists and hindus tell us
all our inner contemptment springs from.
And the quest took me down a river
curtained by glass vines
and geometries from other universes
where the circumference is nowhere and the center is everywhere.
And there it was. Finally.
Peace of mind. Waiting in the distance.
And when I came to my peace of mind at last
there was a note there, instead
and the note read:
Speech, motor control, memory
it all went out the window.
And as my mind fell apart like soggy bits of cake
I stopped trying to stay sane
and gave in.
Dead relatives appeared before me
desperately trying to say something but unable to speak
I saw myself as an older man
then an old man
and then a dead man.
I desperately looked for an "I" or "me" on the inside and found none
nothing to hold on to, just atoms pretending to be a person.
And then finally, I was just a mind floating in space
There was no history, no future
It had always been like that, I knew
I'd only been dreaming of being a human this whole time
something I did occasionally to stop from going mad
and now, I was alone, again.
Back in the real universe, where the only physical constant
were unrelenting horror
and infinite nothing
in all directions.
It had no beginning.
It had no end.
I would spend an eternity like this.
-said a voice
"Who's that?" -I said.
"This is your sub-subconscious, look, just chill out
Since we have almost infinite time here
we're gonna spend some of it making sure you don't make such a dumb mistake again."
Plenty of information exists online about how much you should be taking of a certain substance
given your height, weight and experience.
Don't be a silly sausage and gobble any old amount
It's your mind,
be smart.
If you must insist on taking mind-altering substances
make sure it's with people you trust
not bellends at a party or something
If you're of a skittish or neurotic disposition
hallucigens may not be for you
Nor may substances like cannabis
which in large doses, especially when eaten
mimic psychodelics anyway.
How long do the effects usually last?
Is it nine hours at this dose?
Well, then, if you're seven hours in
it's only another two hours if you're having a bad time.
You will be normal again soon.
Yes, the world is suddendly very confusing and even scary
but, to be honest, before you took whatever it was
the world was equally confusing and scary
you just had lots of time to get used to that version.
Besides, this one will be gone soon anyway
Be cool. Everything's gonna be okay.
Have a cup of tea,
wait it out.
Also, write to your mom, she misses you.
And stop eating frozen chips out of the bag you freak!
"Thanks" -I said- "that was...
whoa that was great!
Won't be taking excessive amounts of substances again in a hurry, that's for sure."
"So, umm...
how much longer... do we have... left here?
About an eternity, right?"
"Just uhh...
just you and me?"
"You uh....
you wanna cuddle, a bit?"
William Tell's awesome overture
Thanks for uploading Exurby :3
Also where is my mystery link?
I miss my mystery link :(
Oh it's already ending?
Enjoy your existential crisis!