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Happiness -- many will advise you how to obtain it but maybe you're not trying to
be happy. Your actions aim for the opposite. You want to be the
saddest saddo sailing on the sea of sadness -- much easier to achieve and this
video has 7 tactics to get you started toward the dark currents, at least one of
which you are already doing. So let's begin. First, stay still. Remain indoors as
much as possible, preferably in the same room. Be the human equivalent of a pile
of laundry -- inert, unmoving. Don't let a beautiful day tempt you for a walk. Avoid
anything even vaguely exercisial. This keeps reward chemicals out of your
brain which could diverge you and stillness guides you towards medical
problems which will keep this wheel turning. Stillness is the most effective
thing you can do, so be the laundry pile. Make your bedroom your allroom. Live and
work and play and sleep in the smallest radius you can. Which brings us to screw
with your sleep. The wrath of insomnia will be your co-pilot on the sea of
sadness. Her mere presence is unpleasant, but she also helps confuse the
productive part of your brain which might look to navigate you toward the
islands of happiness on the horizon. More on that later. A regular sleep cycle is a
fragile thing and takes at least three days to establish. Be sure then to vary
your bedtime by several hours twice a week, at least. Even better:
vary your wake time. Sleep in late, preferably very late, some but not all
days. And tell yourself you are making up for sleep to feel like you're doing
something healthy even though you feel terrible when you wake up early and when
you wake up late. Irregular sleep is another of the sea's accelerating
currents. The more you vary your sleep, the harder regular sleep becomes, which
makes your sleep more variable. To never sleep or wake at the same time naturally
is the goal. And to help in this, maximize your screen time. Staying on-screen
complements the previous sailing tactics. Boredom could drive you to motion, so let
the screen entertain you. Tiredness can push you to sleep, so let the screen keep
you awake, sort of, as long as possible. Always fall asleep with a screen in your
hand and put your eyes back on it as soon as you wake.
Every moment away from a screen is a moment you might notice the horizon. Keep
your head down and let the currents pull you. Here you have allies unknown. Behind
the screen are teams of the smartest people and brightest bots competing to
hold your attention on them as long as possible. Let them reach you to pull you
back if you turn away. Plus, screens help with number four: use your screen to
stoke your negative emotions, to feed your anger or anxiety about things over
which you have no control or influence. Be well informed while doing nothing. The
things you care about could be navigational guides out of the sea,
reasons to leave your allroom and take meaningful action with the humans around
you. But you can instead use the things you care about as further sources of
misery. Focus on the bad to fuel your resentment or despair. If you must
contribute, do so only in meaningless token ways and be disappointed in the
lack of change. We're coming towards the end and if you're doing it right, misery
is descending. But some part of your brain is rebelling, trying to turn the
ship by setting a goal. If you're not careful, that part of your brain just
might save you, but luckily we can do more than just hobble it. We can fool it
to navigate deeper into the sea. To reach goals, they must be specific, measurable,
actionable, for which you are responsible, and time bounded. I will turn the wheel
one degree right now. Instead, set the productive part of your brain on vapid
goals: vague, amorphous, pie-in-the-sky, irrelevant, delayed. Make the target
unclear and the path unclear. If motivation strikes, aim ridiculously high
to guarantee failure. I will clean the whole house today is much better than I
will do the laundry in this pile. Cleaning a whole house is impossible.
There's always more to do, so you will always fail. Focus on goals that are
after what you wish to achieve. Learn how to market an app before you learn to
code. This will distract the productive part of your brain quite nicely. And be
sure to wait for motivation rather than setting a time. You'll do something when
you feel like it, which will be never or never enough to matter. With vapid goals,
you will turn the productive part of your brain from a dangerous source of
self-improvement that rewards every small step into a consistent nag
that berates you for your failure to have already accomplished your goal
every step of the way. Now the vapid goals you've set should
distract the productive part of your brain, but if it still fights against you,
direct it towards the mirage on the sea of sadness: the islands of happiness
themselves. Pursue happiness directly. The human mind is such that by setting sail
towards happiness, you will achieve the opposite. Imagine happiness as a place
where happy people are happy all the time.
This turns happiness into an unreachable feeling of constant bliss that no one
has. True happiness is like a bird that might land on your ship, but never if you
constantly stand guard to catch it. Instead, improve your ship and sail into
warmer waters -- the bird will land when you aren't looking. Uh -- so be sure never to
do that. Aim toward the mirage of happiness rather than improving the ship
upon which you sail. Last, but most important, follow your instincts.
Navigation deeper into the sea of sadness is quite easy, for there is a
dark magnetic field that points the compass of your impulses in the right
direction once you get started. You will want to stay indoors, you will want to
not exercise, you will want to sleep in, you will want to do what you know will
make you sadder after you've done it. Your compass points the way, both in and
out, so follow the true north of your impulses and stay away from that other
pole of the long-term. It's all so simple. Just get started with these tactics and
let the sea carry you along.
This video was produced as an adaptation of How to Be Miserable by Dr. Randy J.
Patterson, which is a great example of how thinking about the opposite of your
goal can help you achieve what you really want. And if you want to listen to
it for free you can do so on with their
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book that you want. We briefly covered seven of the strategies from the book,
but there are 33 more and I highly recommend that everyone read it to find
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