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This hotel...
Well this is what it describes itself as
An Ultimate Healing
that exceeds the sky of time is here.
Exceeds the sky of time..??
Does it though? Does it exceed the sky of time?
When I first heard the concept of love hotels
These...secretive hotels these couples go to
To do love-related things in an inconspicuous manner
The first thing I thought was
No one will ever know what you're up to, if you're caught walking into a hotel
especially designed for LOVE
Which inconspicuous love hotel should we go to?
The one with the roman temple on top
or the one with Father Christmas standing outside?
Nooo, fuck it! Let's go to the one that looks like Jurassic Park
And to me, that's the irony of Love Hotels
if you're seen walking in a regular hotel
there's an assumption that you're gonna sleep, relax...and steal some towels and toothbrushes
But if you're seen walking into a Love Hotel, the assumptions might be different
Well it's not just sleeping and...bed things
You have food as well
My favorite aspect of this is
There's a room where adult atmosphere is actually tossed
Whatever that means
But Love Hotels are a pretty big business in Japan
With 25000 Love Hotels
Visited over 500 million times a year
In a market worth 40 billion dollars
And that is a lot of love
But with so many Love Hotels it's important to stand out
which has led to a variety of brilliant names and things
I know I'd love to have been at the board meetings when these names were thought up
My favorite is of course, the Hotel Mickey Cookies
Not just because of the genius combination of Mickey and Cookies
But I can picture that Eureka moment the hotel owner had
with just startling clarity
The Hotels are actually very convenient due to their low prices and flexibility
As a result of not being able to book the rooms in advance
So with that in mind if you're travelling around or if you're tired
You can just check in and get yourself a room
For example my friend and I were in Osaka, and we missed our train back to our hostel
so we decided to check into a Love Hotel instead
And we were just looking for a simple cosy comfortable room
And so we walked into a Love Hotel
And when you walk into a Love Hotel, you wont meet anyone
What you will have is just a big screen
And you will push the number of the room that you wanna go in
And unfortunately there was only one room left in that Love Hotel
And frankly it took…
it took the Mickey....
You know when you just wanna go to sleep…
You just wanna lay down on the bed
Fuck is this?
Fasten with a rope and there needs to be nothing
It's so terrifying
This hotel..this is what it describes itself as
An ultimate healing
That exceeds the sky of time is here
"Exceeds the sky of time"...?
Does it though?
Does it exceed the sky of time?
If this is some sort of scenario you're comfortable paying for
I don't know who would want to pay for this
Granted I paid for it
There's a huge cloud of regret that hangs over this experience
Interested in uniforms?
You can dress up as the....
School, Nurse
School, Maid, Other!
That's the most exciting one
Why is there like chairs on the walls, like what purpose?
There's one, two, three, four
This room is for a couple
And they put..this many sofas in
What disturbs me more than the sofas
Is what can be described as...the cage
What's goin on in there?
It might not exceed the sky of time
but if you want to do horrific acts under the watchful eye
of Hello Kitty
There's always the Hello Kitty S&M themed room
in Hotel Candy Hall in Osaka
It's said that when the hotel changed hands
they toned down the Hello Kitty Room
Especially as there were photos of Hello Kitty showing up all over the internet
blindfolded, and gagged
But the room is still there, just with less gagging
Still, if the idea of the Hello Kitty Room is still uncomfortable to bear
There is the room themed like a school classroom
where you can relive the magic of studying Maths, but in new...and exciting ways
If we're going to Love Hotels based on exterior appearances
it would be difficult to avoid one of Japan's most famous
Love Hotels which is the Queen Elizabeth
And whilst the rooms are fairly standard or being with a nautical theme
The hotel is best known for its eye-catching exterior
Which is a huge replica of the Queen Elizabeth, itself
But of course, no replica of a huge ship
that definitely isn't the Titanic, wouldn't be complete
without Jack and Rose standing at the front of the ship, pulling their infamous pose
just like they did in Titanic
If you ever find yourself at the Russian Embassy
or the Tokyo American Club
you are about a 2 min walk away
from one of Tokyo's most infamous fetish Love Hotels
the Alpha-In Hotel
Where every room has suspension systems, bondage horses, crosses and things
that I don't even want to talk about
It's said that the rooms are inspired by Guantanamo Bay
So you know they're gonna be great fun
With strong prison themes, and torture scenarios in every room
But let's have a run through some of those wonderful rooms
each with their own unique style
For example there's the Medical Room, for Clinical examinations
The Shame-Style Room, where a toilet is just there exposed in the room but in a cage
There's the Cave Style, the Mirror Style, the Chinese Style
The Space Style, complete with what I like to call, a Sex Hammock
and finally, Beginner Style, for people like me
who haven't got a fucking clue of how to use the equipment in the room
You know those drunken "what if" conversations you have down the bar with your friends
I'm pretty sure that's how this place was conceived
What if you could have sex in Jurassic Park?!
Wait a minute!
Now I know what you're probably thinking
Are there blowup dolls of Jeff Goldblum and the answer
is NO
But the hotel JZauruss is themed around Jurassic Park
and for 30 dollars, you can have 90 minutes
in the Park and experience the tension and excitement
of walking through the gates of Jurassic Park
or be it, for different reasons
And whilst the room are fairly standard
with the good old caged bed and Mummy room
This hotel is awesome just because of the detail and because of the concept I mean
It's Jurassic Park, what more could you possibly want?
We're gonna make a fortune with this place
What's better than having a train carriage all to yourself?
Having a train carriage to yourself, in your Hotel Room!
From the outside of the Towers Hotel you wouldn't think much of it
Especially considering it's next-door to arguably Japan's most disappointingly named Love Hotel
But the Towers Hotel has a great reputation for its up-market rooms including
A room with a swimming pool
A room with a pool table
And even a room with bumper cars
But its most famous room is the room themed like a Subway train
And just for the level of detail that went into the room
from the signs to the glass floor of the carriage itself
and for creating a scenario
of limitless train possibility
The Tower Hotel comes out on top in my opinion
So if you're in Japan, try a Love Hotel
be it with your boyfriend, girlfriend or just a friend
They're cheap, they're convenient
and they have loads of cool stuff in the room
from Karaoke to sometimes even Saunas
And whilst this video might have made
Love Hotels seem creepy or strange
Honestly, they're not, they are pretty standard
Give it a shot!
And when you do, you too can exceed the Sky of Time
See ya later!
Let's get one thing clear, yeah line!
Stay over there
Stay on your side
Mister clever premium face man
That is such a cheeky laugh
So this is one of my favorite expressions, the Shit!
It means like, The Best!
Your car is the shit
Number 27: The shit!