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On your deathbed
you will think back in your life,
and you might have...
regrets.
You will wish you'd worked harder,
made more money,
spent less time with your family,
less time with your friends.
You will reminisce fondly
about all the evenings you stayed home alone,
so you could refresh Facebook
over
and over.
On your deathbed
you will be grateful for many things.
Thank God you stayed in that job you hated
for fear of rocking the boat.
Thank God you settle for friendships with total bellends
instead of making the effort to meet people
who were on your wavelength.
Thank God you ignored your dream career,
so you wouldn't upset your family.
On your deathbed
you'll be glad you didn't tell these humans you loved
that you loved them
before they were gone forever.
You'll be glad you spent years taking
passive-aggressive comments personally
from people who are probably just miserable dicks themselves.
You'll be glad
that you were too cautious
to pursue your actual passions in life.
On your deathbed
you certainly won't think back
on whatever it is you worried about constantly,
and laugh at how utterly insignificant it actually was compared
to what a fucking amazing time you could have been having
with a body that hadn't started falling apart yet
in an age more enlightened
than any that have come before,
while the people you loved was still alive.
You were young back then,
and that was a resource more sought-after than antimatter,
more expensive than a hero
in Star Wars Battlefront 2.
Life was fleeting
and luckily you wasted the entire thing.
What's that?
You only have an extremely limited period of time alive
well
better polish off another one then
to that German Dominatrix whose name you can neither pronounce
nor remember,
and then write a long list of things you do tomorrow,
which you will somehow find an excuse not to
for the four thousandth day running.
When you were young
you wanted a million things.
On your deathbed
you want only one
and that is to be young again
On your deathbed
you certainly won't start having awful realizations,
like how the point of making money
probably wasn't to make money,
but to do cool stuff with it for yourself and others.
That the point of a long life
probably wasn't to put off your real plans until tomorrow,
but rather to give you more time to pursue them today.
Now literally fucking now
that the points are being a talking monkey in space
probably wasn't to sit watching YouTube videos
by some pompous British knob end
but to have a good time with what little time there was
And to make other talking monkeys feel good, too.
You were born into an age
science fiction couldn't even imagine.
When your species had access to clean drinking water through magic pipes,
to practically infinite information through magic wires,
to devices that can materialize
pizza in magic boxes at your door within 1 hour...
or less.
Despite being surrounded by miracles on a daily basis,
despite being matter that has woken up,
despite the entire universe
contriving to create you,
you still convinced yourself that the odds were stacked against you,
somehow.
That all the good ideas have been had,
apparently,
and that everything is shit
for some reason.
So...
great.
However you saw it at the time,
the future was a branching network
of opportunities and adventure.
At any moment you could have begun the project of refashioning your life into what you actually
wanted it to look like.
There would be risks,
there would be bad days,
there would be stress,
but that was nothing
compared to the misery of realizing the entire lifetime had been wasted on doubts and
self-sabotage.
The hard road was easy.
The easy road was hard.
It took 14 billion years to make you
and only 90 to fuck it up.
And with self-doubt and apathy you did fuck it up.
But that is irrelevant now,
at the end
all things considered,
all beds made
or I's dotted and T's crossed
because...
On your deathbed
you will think back on your life,
and you may have regrets.
You will wish you'd worked harder,
made more money,
spent less time with your family,
less time with your friends.
And maybe even closed this tab on your browser
and began taking steps towards going off to your actual passions.
Back
when you still had your entire life ahead of you...
And really
only yourself...
In your way.
Hey, I hope you like books about the future
and physics and AI
because I just put one up online...
The first section anyway.
It's set partly in the present,
partly ten thousand years from now.
It has cats and squares and
cats and it's nothing like my other stuff.
There's also lots of sciencing,
mmm
your favorite.
Link below if you are interested,
link below if you're not interested,
link below if you are apathetic.
A massive thank you to everyone who supported the channel on patreon
I could not have written this without you,
and I am eternally grateful.
Thanks I hope you like it.
Goodbye
etc.
(And a massive thank you to you, too, Exurb1a, for giving us so many good videos and existential crisis. Keep up the good work <3)