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Imagine if you could measure your attractiveness to Japanese women with a simple test -
a simple list of desired physical and personality traits.
Well now, you can!
An article in a Japanese woman's magazine recently caused a stir online
after it revealed the characteristics of the perfect man.
Today, we're going to go through that list and uncover the secrets to success together.
And to help us understand why Japanese girls find some of these weird and wacky traits appealing,
we're going to be interrogating a real-life Japanese girl,
my good friend Chiaki, who you may have seen a few years back in our previous groundbreaking expose
on how to date Japanese girls.
I'll be keeping a score out of 26 as we go through and so should you and perhaps we can find this 'perfect hypothetical man'.
Who knows? He could be could be, uh...
He could be sitting right here ;)
... Or maybe it's you.
Anyway. Pen and paper at the ready - let's go.
Chiaki! Good to see you again.
Hi! Nice to see you again.
Well, our once in every four year meet up.
But today I've got a list of 26 traits that
Japanese women allegedly like in a guy.
Uh, we're going to go through each one and hopefully you can tell us a bit about why that trait is on the list,
and while we're doing that, we're gonna keep a score and see how many of those traits that I actually have.
So you take that, you keep score.
Obviously the number is going to be pretty high because...
--Oh. You think so?
... obviously.
Uh, so,
just don't run out of any ink.
So, trait number one: 'the ideal man is good at cooking a rice omelet'.
That's very specific, isn't it?
--Yeah, it is.
Um, now I can cook an omelet very well, but I can't cook rice.
I seem to always mess it up and it turned into like a risotto.
It goes all watery and horrible. --Ohh, right.
So... off to a great start.
Why do you think of all the dishes- Why do you think it's- it's rice omelet?
I think that's because all children like it.
And we try "omuraisu" when we are tired.
So if a guy cooked it - I think that's a really cute.
--Right. There you go then. Rice omelet.
Well, you can't cook it, so I'm gonna...
tick 'no'...
Brilliant. Off to a great start.
'The ideal guy is always smiling'.
Would you want to date someone who's always smiling?
If you smile unnecessarily every single minute, that's awkward.
--Exactly. Say you fall down the stairs.
into a bucket of knives
and I'm smiling.
I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend, would I? Yeah?
That- That seems like a stupid point.
Glad I'm not always smiling. Yeah, I don't think...
Yeah, that's a fail...
'The ideal guy currently works part-time at a cafe'.
Right. Why is that there? I don't understand that.
--I kind of understand.
I think girls love cafes in Japan - like all Japanese girls love to go to a cafe
and if guys are working there, that's cute.
Like... And if you're handsome working at a cafe...
--Okay, like... Wow.
I mean, let's just...
This is...
I mean, I suppose if if you work part-time at cafe, there's a good chance you're gonna be smiling a lot
because you need to get the tips in,
and there's a good chance you're gonna be able to cook a ni- a rice omelet.
they seem like a very specific type of person
--And so far of the three
I haven't got a single one of those traits. Brilliant.
--No, you haven't gotten any yet.
--'The ideal guy wants to get married someday'.
I don't...
I don't wanna do that either.
Oh, you don't want to get married in the future? --No...
I'll be too busy working part-time at a cafe to have such luxuries
as marriage... and love.
I did date a Japanese girl once
and after dating for a month the word 'marriage' started coming up an awful lot in conversation.
After one month?
After one month.
Yeah, so after 25 or...
if you reach 30,
like, everyone expects that you have to get married.
I heard there's like this expression, isn't there?
There's an expression that you're a 'Christmas cake'.
--Christmas cake! Yes.
--'Christmas k─ôki'-
After 25 years old,
after the 25th of December
Christmas cakes go on discount and nobody wants a Christmas cake anymore or something.
It's quite...
It's quite sinister.
It's a bit sad, yeah.
There's a sense of pressure to get married.
Yeah, there's a lot of pressure.
--Or to be on the path to marriage by 25 years old.
That's why if you think about marriage when you have a relationship, girls will be 'Yes!'
Girls will be 'yes'.
That'll be another good t-shirt - 'girls will be yes'.
'The ideal guy likes eating meat and meaty dishes.'
Yes, finally!
That-- yes. Tick. Put that down. Yes.
Why do you think that is? What's- what's- what's appealing about eating meat?
I mean, I get it.
--That's because eating meat is manly.
Is it?
Eating little by little vegetables...
*manly eating noises*
with the meat, I would be like: wow, manly!
'The ideal guy often rolls up the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirts'. Hah!
*kaching* Look at that.
Get in. Stumped!
Rolled up, innit.
Kind of...
-- And I didn't-
I didn't read that and then do it - my sleeves were rolled up.
You can go back look at the start the video.
Why is that though? That's really weird.
--But I understand like...
it looks cool?
It does look cool.
Like a little bit stylish if you roll it up. --Little bit stylish, yes.
If that shirt is white, it was better, but...
--'The ideal guy loves Cola.'
I don't- I don't-
First of all, I don't like Cola.
I always feel a sense of guilt whenever I drink it,
because I feel my teeth eroding - I feel like I'm just getting fat.
Why is that on the list? That's really specific.
It's because that comes from foreign.
It's like, it's not Japanese product - like Calpis.
If a guy has Calpis,
okay, that's a Japanese product.
But if he has coke:
That's from America, or that's from England. --Oh...
--So you're telling me,
if I'm walking down the street in Japan with a can of coke,
I'm increasing my chances of...
You know, having a girl talk to me.
Uhh, I think so.
--It's like because it is called in English, that's cool.
It's out th- You're definitely being funded by coke...
It's starting to feel like Stranger Things - its product placement for coke.
'The ideal guy has a lot of friends'.
Boom, I've got 1.3 million, almost.
1.3 million friends.
Yes! That's- yes! --Definitely.
Are you my friend?
You are my friend.
'The ideal guy is kind and gentle'! Tick.
What do you mean 'no'?
'The ideal guy is a member of an athletic club as opposed to an art club'.
Can we include any clubs that I've done in my entire life?
--Or does it have to be now?
... Now.
Oh. Nope.
That's a no.
I cycled across Japan?
That might count if you carried on. Did you finish?
I finished the cycle. I don't cycle now, though.
'The ideal guy is thin and muscular'.
Harsh. That's harsh
'The ideal guy will give you accessories for your birthday present'.
No, I despise accessories.
I usually take girls out for like a dinner or travel or something.
I like to focus on experiences rather than material things
So if you can give a girl
accessories and a nice dinner,
that'll be perfect.
--Yeah but, I can't afford both.
You can't have a nice accessory and dinner. It has to be one or the other.
--What would you rather have?
I want... something.
--So material items are more of a thing.
Yeah, I can keep it,
and I will think 'oh, this is from my boyfriend'.
Every time I look at it. 'Oh. This is from my boyfriend'.
Yeah, but think of a nice meal at McDonald's.
How, you know, if you go to McDonald's, that memory will last a lifetime.
--A nice meal, you know?
Whereas a bit of- an accessory, that'll be gone in two years.
Lost or something, innit?
Uh, 'the ideal guy has a short hairstyle'.
--It's a bit long...
But is this... short enough?
Mm, I think...
This bit is a bit long.
--Why is a short hairstyle good?
That looks like... like...
a boy...
'It looks like a boy'. Brilliant.
--So I don't look like a boy.
I do notice, though, most of my Japanese friends do have short hair.
It does seem to be like, the fashion in Japan - not to have facial hair and to have kind of short hair.
I think Japanese girls like 'sawayaka boys'.
Refreshing - invigorating.
So like, the breeze suits him.
So if you have short hair,
*breeze noises*
So I'm not refreshing...
Umm, close.
That's that one out the window as well.
Um, 'the ideal guy has black hair'.
Nope, can't do that. That doesn't look right on me.
But we like light brown color as well.
... But do I get that one?
Uhh, this is... No.
Right. Brilliant.
--'The ideal guy asks, "Are you okay?" when you're feeling bad'.
My girlfriend was once upset on Valentine's Day,
uhh, when I bought her some post-it notes as a gift.
Now, you could debate whether or not it was appropriate to buy her post-it notes on Valentine's Day.
But, I did ask her if she was okay.
... while she was visibly agitated, so...
I think that's a tick.
Oh is it?
Is it? Yeah.
... Alright...
And that's definitely not me being desperate.
--'The ideal guy limits his clothes purchases to 10000 yen per month', which is about $90.
I probably spend about $50 a year on clothes.
A year!?
A year. I don't do clothes well - as you can tell.
Uh, so yes! I get a tick there.
--I get that one.
Brilliant! About time.
It's been about half an hour since the last tick.
Why do you think that is?
It's just- I just thought that be the opposite,
because Japanese girls quite like fashion.
--Wouldn't it be attractive to have a guy who spends like over a hundred dollars a month on clothes?
But also simple is the best.
Simple is the best.
But the next point kind of contradicts that, right?
'The ideal guy spends a lot of time in the Harajuku neighborhood'.
Harajuku is the shopping district in Tokyo.
All the points we've had so far, all right, kind of masculine.
But a masculine guy isn't gonna go and spend lots of time around Harajuku. Surely?
Not really...
Contradictory lists! Stupid.
You know what, but if you're simple and go to Harajuku like this,
you'll be stand out.
I think so.
What, for my shit fashion?
Your shit fashion will stand out.
My shit fashion will stand out.
--Walking through Harajuku and my shit fashion, coke in hand...
'The ideal guy prefers navy blue or white clothing'.
Don't get it. I don't do white clothing. 'Cause, no...
That's all related to refresh.
The word 'refresh' is a key word.
So I'm not refr- I basically look quite dirty because I wear black clothing all the time.
You don't...
Be- You are not categorized as 'refresh'.
--I'm not categorized as...
That's the most horrible thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm sorry!
That I'm not refreshing.
--I'm so sorry...!
--I feel...
I feel awful.
I feel awful now...
'The ideal guy is the oldest son out of his siblings'.
--Are you?
Through no fault of my own - through sheer luck, I am the oldest sibling.
I've got one sister.
--That's interesting because usually the older sibling, I find in Japan, is burdened with lot of issues,
because usually the older sibling has to take care the of parents and do things like that.
Why would you want to marry the older sibling?
--I don't know - that impression is good?
I think? Like,
I can tell 'oh, you're the oldest,
so you can look after, you know,
your siblings and the parents - you know how to look after someone'.
So maybe it's the sense of maturity?
I think so- yeah, that is why.
--'The ideal guy often wears hooded sweatshirts.'
--No. I like to dress like I'm a reasonably priced hitman.
--Why is a hooded sweatshirt appealing?
I would have thought Japanese girls would be more into smart clothing, like suits and shirts and things.
It's- I don't know why, but it looks a little bit stylish.
Yeah. With the hoodie, and...
... What's that?
... Right.
--'The ideal guy has had three prior girlfriends'.
Done it again. Tick. I've had three prior girlfriends.
I've had probably... more than that...
Not bragging - I just want that point.
--Uh, 'the ideal guy has his birthday in August'.
No, mine's not in August. Why is that a thing?
--Out of all the ones we've had so far, that's the most confusing for me, I think.
That one's annoyed me because there's- there's literally no reason that that's on the list.
It's just there.
--It's just odd.
--'The ideal guy regularly texts, emails calls you'.
No. I despise phone calls.
This is actually depends on the girl, but
I know many girls wanted texts often - like a couple of times a day, like every single day as well.
I mean that's quite subjective - what's regularly?
Is that daily? Is that hourly?
Is it, you know...
Every day.
I don't if I should get a point there or not...
No? Right, okay.
--Probably the most weird one on the list so far. Um,
'The ideal guy is into beetles'.
--First of all, I don't like beetles.
It's like I've slapped around the face, then.
--'You don't like beetles!?' *wapoosh*
I read an article that Japanese girls find beetles cute.
Because beetles look like men...?
'Beetles look like a man'.
Do they?
Let's get that up on the screen.
Oh yeah. They look the same(!).
--No, I don't get why that's on the list.
I get the impression this survey wasn't like, uh
wasn't like thousands of women that were interviewed -
it was just one weird Japanese woman they found in a street in Shinjuku.
--Anyway, let's finish up.
--'The ideal guy can drink a lot of alcohol'.
Yes. I'm British and I drink a lot of alcohol. That's like...
what British people do.
I get a tick there.
And the last one:
'The ideal guy doesn't wear aftershave or cologne'.
I do wear aftershave.
--In summer,
when I was working as a teacher,
going into rooms that were like...
It's-- Japanese school rooms aren't-- they don't have air conditioning,
so it's like going into an oven, and then you go and teach for an hour in front of 40 people.
I needed aftershave to...
cover the scent of sweat.
You know what,
If your clothes smell good,
A girl will fall in love with you.
Put that down on your list. Write that down.
If your clothes smell good, a girl will fall in love with you.
So it means you use that, how do you say- like a nice washing powder?
--Like a nice washing soap.
--Is this the bit where you pull out like some sort of sponsorship deal
with some Japanese washing company?
--And there you go!
Um, what was my score? I'm not sure I really wanna know.
*drum roll*
--8 out of 26...
--Well that's...
That's me done. No chance.
Um, I'm basically the most unappealing guy ever to Japanese girls.
That might explain why I've not been so successful in Japan in the last seven years.
Chris, you should...
You should be able to take everything...
Uh, so on your next video you can try everything.
... and make another Chris.
'Make another Chris...'
Which would require me to dye my hair,
lose weight, and start working part time a cafe!
--Uhh, I don't think I'm gonna be able to tick all these boxes.
That's fine...
--And there isn't gonna be a follow-up video where I do...
But, uh... Thank you, Chiaki, for helping us to understand some of the weird things on this list -Yeah.
--that I don't think we'll ever quite comprehend.
What was your score though?
Let us know, guys, in the comments below. See if you can beat me.
Probably not as difficult. --Everyone...
Yeah, literally everyone.
If you get less than eight... well done!
Uhh, you're probably in the minority.
--Uh, but for now, thanks Chiaki.
--Thanks for joining us and being here.
Do go and check out Chiaki's YouTube channel,
Simply called: Chiaki.
--Clever that.
I should rebrand to 'Chris'.
What are you gonna do? 'Chris'...
'Chris Unappealing Abroad'?
'Chris Everywhere'?
'Chris Everywhere'...
Perfect. New channel name's sorted - 'Chris Everywhere'.
... But still not good enough to date Japanese girls.