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This is the Brain Zoo. Where the brain animals live.
There are some that you may recognize, such as:
Who is always telling you how everything will go wrong,
and you're shit, and no one ever loved you anyway.
Who insists that effort is boring, so don't do it.
Who recommends you end your own life.
And then there's:
The moose, who suggests at all times, that you should be doing more ketamine.
Might be, um...
*Clears throat*
Might be a bit, specific, that last one...
Anyway, these guys are usually hiding under the surface, telling you, what's what,
but is there a way to quiet them down?
Imagine your mind is a big concert.
There is, the:
Who does all of the watching, and listening.
This is the core of your mind, right?
Just pure awareness. You with a capital Y̲.
But then there's the:
They represent all the sensations in your mind, good, and bad, and everything flowing in.
Sometimes you're eating a lovely sandwich, or hanging out with someone you think is a bit special,
and the orchestra plays a happy number.
Other times you get fired, or some
𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚!
And now the orchestra is playing quite a different tune, indeed.
The point is that the orchestra never stops.
They're always playing something or other in your mind, about
what's happened,
or what will happen.
They never shut up. We're constantly swimming in thoughts.
And sometimes, the audience starts thinking, they are the orchestra.
that is the root of the problem with fear, and unpleasant emotions, it seems.
We forget that:
The funny thing is, that there are only a hundred chairs in the brain concert.
Now, on those days in life, when there's nothing to worry about, and stuff's going well,
maybe it's 90% audience, and 10% orchestra.
There's nothing to fight against, you've got control of your own head.
But the real danger time is when you're afraid, or pissed off, like when you have to do something scary,
and the audience starts trying to run away.
But of course the orchestra doesn't like it when you try to run away.
So more move in, and play louder,
until the whole concert is 95% orchestra, and 5% poor audience,
and you lose control of your mind!
Your bubble of awareness shrinks,
and Captain Dickhead McTerror fills the vacuum for as long as you let him.
So, what to do, then.
Well, who's really in control here?
The orchestra?
Or the audience.
Your conscious mind,
or the sensations inside it.
Well it's the audience, right? They pay for the concert.
That's who everyone is here for, the part of your mind just observing everything.
If the audience don't like what's playing they can just listen, for a while.
They're not personally responsible. They didn't write the music!
Besides, they know it's only music, anyway.
...pretty much.
Reminding yourself over, and over, that mind nasties, are just noise.
Fear is just a shit orchestra.
And that watching it, instead of getting drawn in, is a very, very good way to kill it.
Same goes for all the other little bastards, in the brain zoo.
Meditation doesn't have to be performed sitting down cross-legged with an incense stick up your arse.
It's equally doable,
right before you're about to get up on stage, or do something else you're bothered by.
It's the mindset, right?
Observing, rather than getting drawn in, and freaking out.
This isn't easy to do, and humans have been working on it for thousands of years.
This starts with remembering that
thoughts and sensations are only noise, in the first place.
They aren't You. You with a capital Y̲, that is.
The audience isn't the orchestra. If shit music is playing, they can just listen, and not pay.
And what happens, when people stop paying for bad orchestras?
Well they go out of business, eventually.
Until it's just one guy left on stage, playing crappy trombone.
And the only person he's harming, is himself.
Isn't that right, Clive?
Ah! One more thing.
If you really wanted to find out where that sense of "Youness" is coming from in the first place,
the audience,
well, let's go on a little mental adventure.
Well first let's forget your life, and identity for a second, right?
Because that isn't really you.
Then let's try to ignore all the sensations in your head.
All your desires, and daydreams, and phobias, and memories,
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘉𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦,
because that isn't really you either.
And let's just go right to the back of your mind, where 'real you' lives.
But when we get there, it's just empty space, right?
There's no sign of a self, or a real identity. There's no one home.
Well there isn't one.
Not if you take everything else away.
I hope, like me, you find that
and I'm not sure what that means.
But sometimes it's nice to have a nice good old look at the wiring under the board, now and again.
To remind yourself that we are very, very weird machines.
Most of the time we just listen to the orchestra and do whatever it tells us to.
But with a bit of determination and practice,
plenty of people have gotten good at telling their audience to stay seated when something awful is going on.
Lots of links below about how to get started if you're interested.
I know this sounds a bit cult-y, but it isn't.
It's basically just recycled Buddism, without the frilly stuff.
But anyway, that is the idea of meditation, really.
To get you to a point where you can say,
👋🐢 "Goodbye Anxity Squid!"
👋🐢 "Hasta la vista Depression Horse!"
And, "Alright, you compelling little drug moose,
👉😎👉 let's go get some FUCKING ketamine!"
['eyyy, captioner here.]
[Nice long outro slide for me to shill out for Exurb1a, nice.]
[Patreon link is in the description, and up there as an annotation button.]
[Go donate to the $60 tier. Have him make some guided meditation audio files.]
[Or don't. It's still your money, as always.]
[Alright, see you all! 👋🐢]
[Hope finals are going well, if you're taking them!]
[Or just life and such if you're watching this later!]