Epic Rap Battles of History
Guy Fawkes
Versus
Che Guevara
Begin!
Guevara the terror.
Fresh Kangol wearer.
Ill rhyme slayer from the 60's era.
Revolting...
Heavy metal rebel blood spiller.
Me and my guerillas...
Are a squad of killers!
(Hoo!)
I'm known worldwide,
for my steely-eyed look.
You're famous 'cause of Alan Moore's third best book!
All the children say:
"We will be like Che!"
Asthmatic...
But I'll take your breath away.
You tried to rebel against
James the First.
Here's a tip for your next plot:
Try to rehearse!
I got my face on a magnet
on your roommate's fridge.
Your head is on a spike
up on London bridge!
You had one job cabrón,
to strike a matchstick.
Got caught with a fuse, like your bars,
You should have stayed anonymous,
Epic Fail Guy!
Treat this battle like the gallows,
and take another dive.
As a communist, it must really hurt
that your face has been cheapened,
weakened, besmirched
being plastered on posters,
coasters and shirts
making capitialists rich,
off of you on merch!
Right, I'm a pious man
and I fight for the Lord!
I would cut you,
but I don't want your
sweat on my sword.
I was tortured until
and listening to you
felt pretty much the same!
(Ooh!)
Face it Ernesto,
you're Castro, but less so.
He's Cuba Commander,
you're more of the Destro.
Revolt all you want,
I don't give two Guy Fawkes!
But look at Venezuela,
what you're fighting for sucks.
Sucks?
Guy, you died for the Catholics.
A group with a bad
touching "little boys" habit.
And this porn star pilgrim look,
what's up with that?
for Very bad hat!
Oh!
What's the Fawkes say now?
(Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!)
When they cut your junk out?
I'm the hardest Marxist,
ever graced a banknote!
You're an error-prone terrorist,
penny for the scapegoat!
Don't try to boast
'bout your banknotes with Guido.
You muddled your economy
like mint in a mojito!
This very battle disproves
your communist initiative.
These rhyme skills are not
(Ah!)
I'm Catholic, I've got
Mass when I'm rapping.
You're an Ump-Che,
that's Bay of Pigs Latin!
After what just happened,
you should retire.
Is it the 5th of November?
'Cause I'm on fire!