You might remember in the first series of these things... and incidentally
now I've done over fifty of them I really ought to settle on what to call them.
Podcasts? But podcasts are audio only, aren't they?
Vodcasts, then. That's what the people at ChannelFlip call them.
But then again, the people at ChannelFlip have chosen to call their production company""
'ChannelFlip', capital C capital F no space between the words,
which I think automatically forfeits them any right
to be considered as reliable lexicographical arbiters.
Ok, I've decided, I'm going to carry on calling them 'These Things'. Good. So.
You might remember in the first series of these things we did a bit of a quiz.
Well, strap in, because we're about to do another one.
The good people of Dell have stumped up a prize,
which, rather unimaginatively, is a computer.
You'd have thought they'd be bored of computers,
and would have opted for a zorbing holiday in the Cotswolds, or a Shetland pony that can whistle.
But no, the prize is a Dell: "XPS15Z"
which, as regular viewers of These Things will know is one of those computers
which spin about on coloured backgrounds for fourteen seconds,
to the accompaniment of a swing band.
They're all the rage, trust me. The kids love 'em.
In fact, the kids don't even use the word 'computer' anymore,
they just use the generic slang 'dell'.
"Have you been on your Dell today?' one of the kids will say to another of the kids.
'Yeah!' his interlocutor will reply 'I've been on my Dell loads.
I poked some of my mates on Bebo, and then I... uploaded... loads of... electrofunk.'
That's what the kids are saying. In fact, someone who's really into computers and computing
is known as a dellhead, and although obviously usually computer geeks are mocked and ignored,
such is the corrosively cool power of Dell that to be a 'dellhead'
is the highest compliment one teenager can bestow upon another.
Anyway. The point is, we're doing another quiz.
Now, the last time we did one, I said the problem with them was coming up
with questions the answers to which are not immediately accessible on Google,
or... I was about to say 'or other search engine', but then I remembered this isn't the BBC,
so we can be honest: on Google.
My solution last time was to compile eminently Googleable questions,
but then rattle them off at speed, so you at least had to faff about with the pause button.
This time, I think I've found a more elegant solution.
I've discovered a class of questions to which there are definitively correct answers,
but not everyone knows them. Not even Google.
'Impossible!' you will be thinking, but that is just where you're wrong.
And the statistical likelihood is that it won't be the last time you're wrong in the next 30 seconds.
Here we go.
Question 1: Who was the best James Bond?
Question 2: What is the correct thing to put at the top of a Christmas tree?
Question 3: What is the nicest type of chocolate?
Question 4: Which playing piece should you select when playing Monopoly?
Question 5: When having a cream tea, what do you put on the scone, and in what order?
In fact, come to that, Question 6: how do you pronounce 'scone'?
Ah. Hang on. I may have spotted a flaw.
Ok, new Question 6: How do you pronounce...?
There. Now, you may think they're a bit subjective, but that is simply not the case.
Every one of those questions has but one correct answer, and I know what it is.
I suppose if you like you can think of it as trying to guess what I would think,
and if that helps you, then fine, but that's not what you're really doing.
What you're really doing is getting closer to 'the truth'.
Oh, and in case we need it, here's a bonus tie-break question:
Which religion... is right?